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By Andrew Schlabach

Created: 22 December 2012

Happy holidays and thank you to everyone who supports our work in Nepal. We appreciate all of the good wishes we receive from the readers of this blog and our FaceBook page. We would also like to send a special thanks to our Didi's (sisters) Uma and Umilla. They are our behind-the-scenes support who cook for the entire crew and clean the clinic everyday. We could not do what we do without them. Please check out this short video (courtesy of our friend Tristan Stoch) showing our Didi's in action. --- Andrew Schlabach, Director, Acupuncture Relief Project

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By Natalie Gregersen

Created: 16 December 2012

I'm sitting outside on a hot, sunny day with a view of the village of Chapagoan and a crystal clear view of the Himalayas in the distance...and of course there is a cat on my lap.  As writing is not my forte I have lamented for a week about writing this blog although thoughts about what I would say have streamed in and out of my head for the last two weeks.  What would I say about an a experience where every moment is a richly layered ever shifting kaleidoscope of thoughts and feelings?   How can I possibly express this in writing to other people when it feels so deeply personal?  But part of opening myself up, opening up my heart is to share these experiences with others. 

The first few weeks of clinic are overwhelming and exciting.  Everything is so new...new patients, a long work week, working with an interpreter, living in close quarters with a group of people.  It brought up feelings of insecurity and made me question my competence as a practitioner.  I felt somewhat disconnected from my patients, from my teammates, and really from myself.  But I got up every morning, felt my discomfort, and went to work anyway. 

On a bus ride to Boudha something shifted for me.  Riding the microbus in Nepal is quite the experience.... They will pack on as many people as possible and I felt fortunate to have a crowded seat.  I was sitting next to a petite older woman who would look up at me from time to time with a sparkle in her eye and start talking to me in Nepali in which I would look at her say "I have no idea what you just said" and then we'd just smile at each other.  She had her arm on my bag and when I tried to move it to give her more room she looked at me, gave a head bobble, and said 'tik chaa' which means 'it's ok I'm fine'.  At that moment I realized she reminded me of so many of my patients... men and women that I have started building relationships with and look forward to seeing every week.  I also realized how much I appreciate and rely on the interpreters I work side by side with on a daily basis to bridge the gap in communication so I can have these rich experiences with my patients.

I've felt myself gaining confidence and by allowing myself to be myself I started really opening up to my experience here.  There is something beautiful that happens in the treatment room between myself, the interpreter, and the patients.  I've stopped worrying so much about getting it right and started just feeling into the experience, connecting with everyone involved and although some days are still crazy there is a flow that is present.

I've fallen in love with Nepal and the people here.  I've gotten close to my teammates and I'm starting to form friendships with the interpreters.  Nepal in all it's glorious craziness and beauty feels like home and through shared experience I feel like I'm part of a community, a family.

In eighteen days I leave for Thailand and right now that is heartbreaking.  The other day I had a particularly touching moment with a patient and when I went to the dispensary to fill herbs it hit me that I was leaving soon and I lost it.  I let myself cry, wiped my tears, and went back to treating. These moments are happening more often as I realize I'm starting to grieve the end of my time in Nepal.  The more I open up and allow myself to really be here the more I open myself up to the inevitable heartbreak of an ending.  But within this heartbreak is a deep gratitude and appreciation for the people and experiences that have and continue to impact me.   This is life.... Relationships, friendships, experiences are always in a constant state of flux. Endings allow for the freshness of new beginnings and when I'm in Thailand I will fully be in Thailand having whatever experiences arise then.  And by us leaving the new team will get to have their own experiences here.

I asked Satyamohan, one of the interpreters, today if it was hard for him every time a group left.  He replied yes it is difficult for him.  I then asked if it's gotten easier as he's been doing this for quite a few years.  He said it has but that he's a human being so it's never really easy.  And that's it...regardless of culture, age, gender we are all human beings sharing our pain, our heartbreak, our laughter, our joy, and in all of that our love for one another.  ---Natalie Gregersen

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By Sarah Richards

Created: 10 December 2012

I swear that when I asked the Wizard for the brain, he gave me the heart instead! Luckily, I have chosen a career path where leading with your heart is completely acceptable. For the last 10 years I've had a successful massage practice relying solely on my instincts, intuition and following my heart.

Here at the clinic in Chapagaon fear and anxiety have surfaced in me because we are asked to track results and do case studies like clinical practitioners. We need to quantify, measure and prove efficacy, and this is where that brain would prove to be a bit more useful!

While being here in Nepal, some of my insecurities have surfaced. The amazing  acupuncture practitioners constantly awe me with their breadth of knowledge, medical skills and healing abilities; rarely can I even speak their language! I've panicked a few times wondering what am I doing here? What were they thinking when picked me to come here? Are they gonna see right through me and realize that I don't feel like I know what I'm doing? I am so fearful  of letting them, and myself, down; being present, a good listener and showing compassion come easily for me, but here I also crave to be a good clinician as well.

Can't we measure our clinical progress with smiles, moments when a patient finally lets go, kind comments and gratitude? How about the gifts we receive in appreciation; don't  eggs, mustard greens, jello and homemade liquor count somehow?!

Maybe I'm struggling to track and measure my progress exactly and precisely as is desired, but here's what I can relay:

- I had a patient tell me that the gods are singing when I am working on her -  that has to count for something, right!?

- Mini Monks! I have made a couple of regular patients from the Buddhist monastery next door, which is for young monks ages 8-18, hence "mini". One has even asked for my email address in case he thinks of more questions to ask me.

- My schedule is booked with 10 massage patients almost every day, I became very popular very fast!

- I am called "Doctor Sarah" here, so at least it sounds like I know what I'm doing!

- I've had a patient weep on the table because she is overwhelmed that she has somewhere to go where people genuinely want to be kind to her and take care of her.

- I get feedback from the acupuncturists that patients are loving their massages and they are feeling better. And the acupuncturists, since they are treating so many patients community style, are appreciative that there is someone spending more hands on time with the patients since that can be a critical piece of healing.

- I have had the pleasure of adding Tibetan singing bowls to my treatments. These are antique bowls that when massaged properly make an amazing sound and vibration. It has been a powerful tool, the sound and vibrations reach inside and massage where I cannot touch. The patients recognize the bowl as, well a bowl, like something they might cook in, and at first are not sure how it could possibly help them. But once it starts singing they relax in a way that my hands cannot always achieve on these rigid Nepali bodies.

- I have patients who could have acupuncture at one of our satellite clinics closer to their home, but travel 1.5 hours by bus to our main clinic because I am here. One such gentleman has improved greatly but continues to make the journey each week because he enjoys his massage so much. He has invited me to visit him in his home and is planning to bring two other family members to see me.

- I am co-treating a patient with daily massage and acupuncture, this young man has contorted his spine in order to relieve the pain he feels from a herniated disc. He gets up off the massage table smiling and his mood shifts from sullen to happy, his body standing 50% straighter and with significantly less pain.

I came here to be challenged, to expand and grow. I have 3 weeks left to grow as much as I possibly can in beautiful Nepal. I think that I am constantly challenged by my own limitations, but in order to move forward I need to love and embrace those limitations first, and then I can set them aside. I am using this blog post to help me see myself a little more clearly, and now I can't wait to get back in the treatment room and love my patients the best way I know how!

Next time I'm in Oz I'm gonna thank the Wizard for choosing to give me the heart!

Insecurities Secured

What am I doing here?
To share and expand.

Why me?
Only you can do what you do.

Am I good enough?
You are perfect enough.

Am I smart enough?
Never stop learning.

Will I make a difference?
Every second.

---Sarah Richards